Willing to Learn

Here's another thought from As A Man Thinketh:

"A strong man cannot help a weaker unless that weaker is willing to be helped, and even then the weak man must become strong of himself; he must, by his own efforts, develop the strength which he admires in another. None but himself can alter his condition."  (As A Man Thinketh p. 51)

This reminds me of the old adage, "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime." But it is also insightful to recognize that the weaker person can only be helped or lifted up if that is what they desire. If they don't care, then there is nothing that can be done to help that person. I began to learn this on one level when I did my student teaching. I taught German in a high school and quickly learned that I could only help or teach those students who really wanted to get something out of my class. Those that were there to be entertained or just to put in their time got out of the class precisely what they were willing to put into it. And as much as I tried to remind myself that I couldn't force the students to learn and I can only do so much, I still wished that there was something more that I could do. I wanted them to get the concepts that I was trying to give them. I wanted them to succeed. Some believed that it was possible and they wanted to learn. They would make mistakes, but they wouldn't see that as proof that they couldn't learn or speak German, rather, they took their mistakes and learned from them, making them stronger and better. The students that hurt the most to watch were the students that had made up their minds that learning German was something that they could not do. Because they had the attitude that this was something beyond their capabilities, they had created a self-fulfilling prophecy and no matter what successes they made, their mistakes always hung heavier on them and convinced them further that this was something they could not do.

In my seminar, when I first came to the class, one of the first things I learned about was my personal filter. Every day I collect proof and evidence that supports or undermines beliefs I have about myself. Some of my beliefs are positive and build me up. Others are negative and hold me back. One of the most potent tools I have been given is something called a Choice Process. With this process, I examine things that I would like to change in my life. As I continue to look at this thing with this process, I am eventually able to trace the results back to the negative belief (or thought) where everything began. Armed with this knowledge, I am able to look at and change this belief to something positive and uplifting. I am able to remove the filter that allows negative confirmations through and instead filter out the negative and allow the positives through to reinforce the positive things about myself.

I have learned that, in some things, I act just like some of my students. Personally, I don't like to make mistakes. (I know. Hard to believe.) I have things that I am good at and (inadvertently) had begun to limit myself to those things. Yes, I try a few new things, but as soon as I meet some resistance, unless I am very determined, I take this as proof that I can't do it and immediately return to things that I am comfortable with. I noticed this again in an activity that we did last night. As I mentioned about some of my students, the same is true of myself: If I turn mistakes into an opportunity to learn and improve, I will become stronger and more capable and will, in fact, be able to grow both from success and from mistakes.

A quote that is often used at my seminar is this:

"Life is simple. Everything happens for you, not to you." -Byron Katie

If we all were to live with this attitude, I think we would look at life in a much more positive light. We could even turn our shortfalls and mistakes into opportunities to learn and become better. I know, easier said than done. ...But not impossible.